Jan-Henry Gray
I’m a Good Person Because My Childhood Was
junk yard, Goodwill, crushed cans, buy-1-get-1-free, re-runs, dead leaves in the pool, no lifeguard, landlord no English, bounced check, smog check, two—no, need three jobs, back entrance, under the table, no ride after school, loud dogs, mean neighbors, no neighbors, someone died there, FOR RENT sign, up for months, rusted carts, bruised fruit, free bones, just ask, beef tongue, chicken broth, chicken hearts, clouded eye of fish on ice, fry it extra crispy, the house smells like patis and Windex and roses from the rosewater bath to heal the kidney, traffic, church is packed, late for church, not going to church, news of a shooting, news of a robbery, news of the boy raped at prom, pictures of the teens in court, animals!, those crying parents, his crying parents, Rodney King, Reginald Denny, everyone’s yelling on Ricki or Jerry or Maury or Montel and Oprah is on the cover of her own magazine, dentist office, insurance voucher, no social, permanent address, temporary address, magazines with the address torn off, it’s your first time, the handsome dentist says, he touches you and you feel special and rich and white and American and healthy and taken care of, T.C.C.I.C., keep in touch, have a nice summer, we’ll be friendz 4 forever, never change
Jan-Henry Gray (dir. Talia Feder)
Reverse Engineering
(Content Warning: Flashing Lights & Images)
Jan-Henry Gray was born in the Philippines, grew up in California, and worked as a chef in San Francisco for more than 12 years. He has lived undocumented in the U.S. for more than 32 years. A graduate of San Francisco State University and Columbia College Chicago’s MFA program, he is the recipient of the Undocupoets Fellowship and awards from the Jack Kent Cooke Foundation and the Academy of American Poets. Jan lives in Chicago, where he co-hosts Meanwhile, a zine-making and storytelling show. Jan’s writing can be found in Nepantla: An Anthology for Queer Poets of Color, The Rumpus, Tupelo Quarterly, Colorado Review, DIAGRAM, Fourteen Hills, The Margins, Puerto del Sol, and other journals. He is the author of the chapbook Selected Emails (speCt! Books). His first book, Documents, was chosen by D. A. Powell as the winner of BOA Editions’ 2018 Poulin Poetry Prize. It comes out in April 2019.