The Art of Hazing the Newbie

“We don't like Lionel Trilling / we decide, we like 

Don Allen we don't like / Henry James so much 

we like Herman Melville.” —Frank O’Hara

The division of angels contorts to 

nestedness. It’s bitchbrunch bureaucracy. 

Lazy Susan chronicles those who speak 

pie-sweet from those sugar-starved. The men swab 

the deck, self-titled as the “Wolf Pack” (vom). 

This is subtle: casual slip of the name 

from shared memory. Highly curated, we

vocal fry, bond over Terrible Twos. 

To the frat party, we wear lavender 

velvet & ripped jeans. It’s late-stage friendship;

confirmed by acrylic-nailed quid pro quo.

Coercion is our love language. De-thorned 

the cruelest one not to disrupt solar 

system’s feng shui, the space of hierarchy—

word from Greek hieros (“sacred”) and archein 

(“rule” or “order”). Well look at you, little 

miss Merriam Webster! says the one Queen 

Victoria-hued, one delegating 

bottom feeders carry forth unpleasant 

tricks. It’s hell night; so I go all maggot 

& pollywog & tar & feather & 

7.62 millimeter full. metal. jacket. 

with Kubrick stare tilted ladylike: what 

are you willing to do for sisterhood? 

Paddle us fused. Make us footstools. Pledge us 

to pick the mint leaf from the shellback’s teeth. 

Like that—new alliances form. Tonight, 

Jupiter & Venus will share cosmic 

soft porn. I watch for collision in awe,

only here for cucumber sandwiches.