Eternity

— For Jim Galvin


For a decade I have been searching for the meaning of 세월.

In the meantime, a south-bound ferry named Sewol

sank as I watched the passage of teenagers my age 

on a school trip drowning on live TV after school.

They were told to wait exactly where they were.

In a devastating apology, someone likened the word

to the passing time or life or beyond the world

the latter of which I have never heard the usage

except when my grandmother murmurs how 

I am well-fed without having to stir the pot 

of bones for three days as the newfound abundance

is beyond her world. As I pin myself down

to grapple with a modernist poet who precisely

defined the world singing about the sentiment

of passing time passing I am perplexed

to transmit beauty without seeing the double

vision of an especially fine-lined crescent moon 

in front of me, mocking my inability to pass

through time beyond my 세월, leaving behind

the orange vests that never came afloat. 

I am indebted to speaking the common language 

as Sewol that grounds me to temporal discontinuity

in the world that I continue to live haunted

by the memory of peer helplessness.

Mean time brought me to become fluent in carrying

on in a different tongue, one that is still mine.  

세월 [se’wol]: passage of time without time passing

I have been speechless for many years.