Arrow Paradox

 

Shot through for some time, I seem I’m made

for another place. Not for this minute, not this

flinch in time, but in it I am struck, fletch

firm though no vibrato’s been combed

from a hand behind, hand now long in another

scene, lost, erased. Neither is there a quivering wind,

no audience, so no chagrin. The heart of me—

plumb dumb—is still, is meant for this

freeze frame trick of guilt or grief, whatever locks

me in my pathetic house, attic of theory, shame,

shame, what tucks me in my practices kept

private from the arch, ever-shivering eyes

of the lion beyond the door. The animal in me

waits for the one outside. It knows full well

I am not brave, am not what I meant to seem,

much less be: seamless. Of course, I am not so

worried about the grief, but by my being held

fast to sorrow fast in this flesh, for this flash, the sense

of passing everywhere: in the shorn wind

once shearing, sharply paused, in that gold eye

roaming, those feet mute, hand far, all still

capable of error, pain. This passing, yes,

and its passing, too, eventually, once this idea’s

destroyed like others before, when distance

multiplies distance, and this very instance marks

the body’s atlas, and the original vein I knew is gone

as soon as I dare look up—