Promesa

After Johanna Hamann

Like a fig, ostiole closed,

or the mass my brother’s first 

father kicked onto the dog’s 

belly. The tassels between

my fingers exposed the drapes’

center draw as he drawled

my brother’s name, lysol

and cigarette haze 

jutting from the grip fixed 

under the ringer. Memory

keeps us restrained, estranged

to reflection’s riposte

or whatever reverie might 

cross the doorway, or

the other side of childhood

where I dig burnt spoons

from the basket of a hotel 

bathroom. My brother attests 

the lump grew globose

as a bulb, supple as a blossom

choked off the branch.

His breath scatters even

as time limits his vision,

as the girl I was 

sways toe to toe atop

the baseboard’s incline. 

Then the slump of bare

heels against tile. Let go

the curtain to try conviction. 

Pick a fig to pause its ripe.